Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Introduction - Getting Started

I've been an idiot. A lack of self confidence and dedication to the pursuit of my passion has led me down a descending maze of negativity and inactivity. At each dead end, I find myself doubting me and my skills more and during the long trek of finding the right path out of this never ending hell hole, I have an infinite amount of time of contemplating just what an idiot I have been. What an idiot I am.

I guess it’s not so much a maze but a never ending loop of bullshit that I have to deal with every day. An infinite circle of me drifting in and out of hazy days filled with muddled expectations and apathetic reverence for my own laziness. It’s interesting how much contempt and hate one can muster up for oneself, simply for not doing anything. But that’s where the whole, lack of self confidence and having zero belief in my own abilities-thing, comes into play.

Can I do it? Can I actually achieve something worthwhile? What if I can’t? What if I'm just a fucking hack! It’s not so much that I'm scared that success is way out of my reach (which it is!) but it’s just that I don’t want to find out if I actually am just a talentless hack pretending to be something he’s not. Failure is one hell of a scary thing, but it’s infinitely scarier when it comes to something you truly love.

But the hell with it! All of that ends here. I'm going to give it my best shot and I'm aiming for the damn stars.

The name’s Dimitri, though nobody actually calls me that. Over the years, I have acquired so many nicknames, I have to write them down now. If you feel like giving me yet another one, let me know so I can jot it down as well! My friends usually refer to me as Dimsey or Dimi.

For as long as I can remember, video games have been my passion. I love this medium more than anything and with this Journal (I refuse to use the word “blog” because it sounds silly and reminds me of what an Orc would say if someone sneezed) I hope to explore and discuss the potential, design, social culture and storytelling of this beautiful medium.

Every Monday I’ll post a new article and there’s going to be all kinds of crazy topics regarding narratology, ludology and a bit of old school, disjointed philosophy! Expect criticisms and reviews as well.

EDIT: I'm off to a great start! First post, and I don't even make my own deadline. Flee now reader, save yourself while you can...

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